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Darren Yu

Go Getta

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November 16

好久没看笑话了

- 一次，葛优请朋友吃饭，中途上了趟厕所，回来时，裤子湿了一大块。
朋友：“你的裤子怎么湿啦？”
葛优：“自从我成名之后经常这样。”
朋友：“经常这样？”
葛优：“可不是！经常是旁边的人撒着尿突然转过来大叫，‘ 这不是葛优吗！’

- 师弟发短信向领导汇报工作：我们班党员14人，男生8人。
领导回复：没有女生么？

- 甲：足球比赛我看得多啦！我懂得有关足球的一切知识。乙：是吗？那你告诉我，足球网有多少窟窿眼儿？

- 老师：“‘两点之间直线最短’这个公理是不用证明的，大家都承认，放之四海皆准～”
一同学问：“那可不可以证明呢？”
老师：“你要证明也未尝不可，你在10米外放一根骨头，然后把狗放开，它肯定是笔直地跑到骨头跟前，不会拐弯不会绕道的。狗都知道这个道理，还有什么需要证明的呢？”

-中国田联要求刘翔和王军霞生个小孩，看能跑多快。九个月后王军霞生产，刘翔问护士：是男孩还是女孩。护士惊慌说：没看清，生下来就跑了！

- 有两个外国人到家乐福去购物，结帐时，店员问：「Can you speak chinese？」
两个外国人用国语回答：「如果你讲慢一点的话，我们可以听的懂！」
店员说：「Can...you...speak...chinese？」


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August 14

10 reinvigorating facts about Microsoft's profits

10 reinvigorating facts about Microsoft's profits
by Caroline Cho Reed - August 13, 2007

From Joe Panettieri (The VAR Guy): (April 30) "I have written extensively about Microsoft's (NasdaqGS: MSFT) problems. But last week, I got a stunning reminder about the company's power. It takes Microsoft only 10 hours of business to exceed Red Hat's entire quarterly profit. Skeptical? Check out the math, and nine other facts about Microsoft's most recent earnings report."

"Microsoft last week announced 3rd quarterly revenue of $14.4 billion and net income of $4.93 billion. In other words, Microsoft's daily net income is about $55 million. That's $55 million in pure profit every 24 hours. Do some quick math and you'll learn it takes Microsoft only about..."

  • 10 hours or so (yes, hours!) to exceed Red Hat's (NYSE: RHT - News) quarterly net income of $20.5 million.
  • Four days to exceed Research In Motion's (NasdaqGS: RIMM) quarterly net income of $187.9 million.
  • Four days to exceed Starbucks' (NasdaqGS: SBUX) quarterly net income of $205 million.
  • One week to exceed Nike's (NYSE: NKE - News) quarterly net income of $350.8 million.
  • Two weeks to exceed McDonalds' (NYSE: MCD - News) quarterly net income of $762 million.
  • Two weeks to exceed Apple's (NasdaqGS: AAPL) quarterly net income of $770 million.
  • 18 days to exceed Google's (NasdaqGS: GOOG) quarterly net income of $1 billion.
  • 23 days to exceed Coca-Cola's (NYSE: KO - News) quarterly net income of $1.26 billion.
  • Five weeks to exceed IBM's (NYSE: IBM - News) quarterly net income of $1.85 billion.
  • 10 weeks to exceed Wal-Mart's (NYSE: WMT - News) quarterly net income of $3.9 billion.
 
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